My Blooming Playground

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, Conscience beholds the beauty at the eyes

2012-01-29T10:14:00.000-08:00

Do not compare yourself with others;
As comparing oneself with others is only a step towards downgrading oneself,
Each and everyone of us has our own beauty, charm and specialty;
And all that shalt not to be compared of~
Personality beholds strongly our beauty, charm and specialty;
A heart that is ugly, hence makes us ugly,
Inside out.

Bear that in mind always :)

Introduction feedback.

2012-01-06T14:19:00.000-08:00

Well, hi, its moi agaien..

Just now i stalked again, this time, i stalked my own blog, .HAHAHA

I read my first ever post in this blog, and i saw a comment my friend posted to me..

He said, this going to be 1 hell kind of blog which going to fil up with emo-ness... >.<

lol!! hahahaa, HEY fren, u are damn right! lol,

Once i read back the comment, i laughed..(laugh out loud in a silent manner, as now everyone in the house is still pigging)..hahahaha...Buddy, u r damn right, dammnnn right..this is 1 hell-o-va emo blog! AND i MISS u lar fren, miss ur spams and comment (i stalked my chatbox as well!! =))

Peace >.^v

2012-01-06T13:36:00.000-08:00

Hi, its me again.

don blame annoyance as

"the Annoying stuff that u wish will bug off from you, will be the ones u Miss the most when they really bug off' =D

At this time again, ..AGAIN...when i shud be studying(AGAIN ...sucha nerd or geek u might say), guess what..i am stalking ppl again! LOL....AND SOMETIMES, I DO FEEL that i am a pro stalker..but rest assureD, i just stalk, i dont harm..LOL..nyiahahaa..

ok..THIS time..its...

Of two innocent quiet souls,

Happen to belong to the same womb,

Barely speaks but only among themselves,

And i find it cute and sweet of them to be sharing songs to each other, and what could have been thought of the songs shared by them would be jazz...perhaps classical?

Na-ah, they shared among each other those boom-boom-doom-doom songs and they liked each other's songs (to me, i feel that its hell of a sweett..LOL, it seems to me that they have some kind of inner understandings or communication, 'Twin' effect perhaps? )..

and so......the big stalker happens to pass by, and hence listening to them now as well^^ LOL..hahaaaa

not bad not bad, the kinda songs i will like..except the parody.

You must be thinking, whats so fun about stalking people? Especially people you dont even know? well, i dunno, maybe its something interesting to me, as i feel that knowing some unknown people's life in a 'third party's side' makes me feel that the earth is spinning..(you get what i mean? ) Its like, whatever's happening around you, not just happens around you, its happening elsewhere without u knowing, and u get to know more about LIFE, when u stalk.=P

Judge me for being-too-free?
Or crazy?

Or pathetic?

Aint u stalking me now as well?;P

haaaa GOTCHA!

2012-01-06T13:31:00.001-08:00

They know me too well =)

5 simple ways to be Happy

2012-01-06T13:28:00.000-08:00

1. Get your worriness out of your mind.

2. Get the hatred out of your heart.

3.Live simply, laugh more, think less(except during studying).

4.Expect less.

5.Give more.

A self reminder and to all~

2012-01-06T13:25:00.000-08:00

I came upon this, though its quite wordy and i didnt really read up to it, but maybe one day, it might be useful to ponder upon=)

Stop taking so much notice of how you feel. How you feel is how you feel. It’ll pass soon. What you’re thinking is what you’re thinking. It’ll go too. Tell yourself that whatever you feel, you feel; whatever you think, you think. Since you can’t stop yourself thinking, or prevent emotions from arising in your mind, it makes no sense to be proud or ashamed of either. You didn’t cause them. Only your actions are directly under your control. They’re the only proper cause of pleasure or shame.
Let go of worrying. It often makes things worse. The more you think about something bad, the more likely it is to happen. When you’re hair-trigger primed to notice the first sign of trouble, you’ll surely find something close enough to convince yourself it’s come.
Ease up on the internal life commentary. If you want to be happy, stop telling yourself you’re miserable. People are always telling themselves how they feel, what they’re thinking, what others feel about them, what this or that event really means. Most of it’s imagination. The rest is equal parts lies and misunderstandings. You have only the most limited understanding of what others feel about you. Usually they’re no better informed on the subject; and they care about it far less than you do. You have no way of knowing what this or that event really means. Whatever you tell yourself will be make-believe.
Take no notice of your inner critic. Judging yourself is pointless. Judging others is half-witted. Whatever you achieve, someone else will always do better. However bad you are, others are worse. Since you can tell neither what’s best nor what’s worst, how can you place yourself correctly between them? Judging others is foolish since you cannot know all the facts, cannot create a reliable or objective scale, have no means of knowing whether your criteria match anyone else’s, and cannot have more than a limited and extremely partial view of the other person. Who cares about your opinion anyway?
Give up on feeling guilty. Guilt changes nothing. It may make you feel you’re accepting responsibility, but it can’t produce anything new in your life. If you feel guilty about something you’ve done, either do something to put it right or accept you screwed up and try not to do so again. Then let it go. If you’re feeling guilty about what someone else did, see a psychiatrist. That’s insane.
Stop being concerned what the rest of the world says about you. Nasty people can’t make you mad. Nice people can’t make you happy. Events or people are simply events or people. They can’t make you anything. You have to do that for yourself. Whatever emotions arise in you as a result of external events, they’re powerless until you pick them up and decide to act on them. Besides, most people are far too busy thinking about themselves (and worry what you are are thinking and saying about them) to be concerned about you.
Stop keeping score. Numbers are just numbers. They don’t have mystical powers. Because something is expressed as a number, a ratio or any other numerical pattern doesn’t mean it’s true. Plenty of lovingly calculated business indicators are irrelevant, gibberish, nonsensical, or just plain wrong. If you don’t understand it, or it’s telling you something bizarre, ignore it. There’s nothing scientific about relying on false data. Nor anything useful about charting your life by numbers that were silly in the first place.
Don’t be concerned that your life and career aren’t working out the way you planned. The closer you stick to any plan, the quicker you’ll go wrong. The world changes constantly. However carefully you analyzed the situation when you made the plan, if it’s more than a few days old, things will already be different. After a month, they’ll be very different. After a year, virtually nothing will be the same as it was when you started. Planning is only useful as a discipline to force people to think carefully about what they know and what they don’t. Once you start, throw the plan away and keep your eyes on reality.
Don’t let others use you to avoid being responsible for their own decisions. To hold yourself responsible for someone else’s success and happiness demeans them and proves you’ve lost the plot. It’s their life. They have to live it. You can’t do it for them; nor can you stop them from messing it up if they’re determined to do so. The job of a supervisor is to help and supervise. Only control-freaks and some others with a less serious mental disability fail to understand this.
Don’t worry about about your personality. You don’t really have one. Personality, like ego, is a concept invented by your mind. It doesn’t exist in the real world. Personality is a word for the general impression that you give through your words and actions. If your personality isn’t likeable today, don’t worry. You can always change it, so long as you allow yourself to do so. What fixes someone’s personality in one place is a determined effort on their part—usually through continually telling themselves they’re this or that kind of person and acting on what they say. If you don’t like the way you are, make yourself different. You’re the only person who’s standing in your way.

2012-01-01T11:13:00.001-08:00

U r not even a THREAT to me, HA-HA-HA!

2011-12-31T11:10:00.000-08:00

Pls make it happen, pls pls PLS!!><

F.I.N.A.L.S #bam

T.H.E.S.I.S #bam

2012 is my year , fuck yeah!

Peace =) HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE ^^

2011-12-24T10:12:00.000-08:00

Katy Perry sings; IN another life, I will be your girl

~
~well, for me, i am not sure whether i would wanna do that.

Adele sings; NEvermind, i'll find someone like you

~well, for me, i dont think i would wanna find someone like you again

because..

Bruno Mars sings; YOu'll never be my mother's favourite

THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY~

2011-12-14T04:57:00.000-08:00

Its so near to perfect, but end up in such a despair..

This statement describe the incident that happens in my lab today..though its a no big deal case, but i am in such a despair and gloominess now..=((

This is what happens;

on a blue Monday,

the time slot i want to book in da lab on tuesday has been booked!
then how shall i do my MTT assay?

FYI: each MTT assay took three days to complete..day 1: seeding the cells, then incubate for 18 hours..day 2: treatment with desired compounds, then incubate for 24 hours..day 3: MTT salt addition

i AM SO CONFIDENT that this time it will be the most good looking result.based on the experience on the doing the previous MTTs, .i tried my very best to arrange the exactly 18 hours of incubation time for my beloved seeded cells, i am so confident that i am gonna get the timing damn accurate(perfect!) this time, EXACTLY 18 hours!, then on Monday, my desired time has been booked, nevermind.

On that time in the lab, i carried on my seeding,(my mind running on a treadmill, and my thoughts were planning non stop) and luck seems to be by my side at that time, i seeded later than the time i expected, so i manage to exchange time slots on the next day with 2 lab mates, and i've got my desired time!! to be able to treat after incubating exactly 18 hours!! Day 2, all's well ends well! I am very proud of myself for being able to arrange and negotiate well to get my desired time slot!! I am very thankfull to the 2 lab mates as well<3

then Day 3, which is today, everything goes very well too, the micropipettes seems to behave very well, and i sort of gain the golden key to using those pipetes in the most efficient way..I am very happy indeed, as i have mastered the skill (hehe) to avoid any medium remaining on the pipettes..ngek..>)....then my cells and the treatment compOund behave as well, the colours of the solution in each well is nice, and i have so much confident that its gonna come out BEAUTIFULLY...

then, after performing the last step which is to suspend the formazans with DMSO, its time to read the plate..everything is according to plan, and i feel as if i m walking on rainbow, plus this is my last MTT assay i need to do at the time being, i cant wait to say goodbye to it, plus its gonna end WELL!!!..

then just when i was about to read the plate using the microtiter plate reader(imma walking towards the reader thinking"this is gonna be a good one, hell yeah"), my inner voice asked to shake the plate using the shaker to mix well the solutions, and in order for more perfectness, i decided to use the shaker before i read it..(just for the purpose of perfectness)..

and then...my nightmare, happensT.T the shaker aint shaking , and just when i turned the mode to make it shake, it starts to shake vigorously!T.T and in the end, my babies!! all my babies in the well flew and spill everywhere like nobody's business...T.T (gosh, i am in the verge of tears now)..IN-THE-END, everything is ruined, it cant be read anymore as everything is mixed up and spilled..omg, my heart hurts like as if someone has cut a piece of myocardium away..

Hence, i threw everything away to the biohazard bag, kissing them goodbye, and wipe the spills away from the effin shaker with mixed feelings of defeat and failure;..i suddenly feel blank and numb, standing in a corner and thinking how great my day is gonna end up, if i didnt use the shaker, and i could have just read the plate, get the beautifully predicted result, and hence end my MTT pipeting and suspending torment, and also fills up the last perfect puzzle to my MTT data analysis..but everything comes to a halt in just less than five seconds or so i think..=(((

i stood there flabbergasted and kept thinking of the IFs, until Dr C saw me and said to me, "U feeling depressed because of what happened just now? " then , me replying"A bit"..actually its just not a bit , i just feel like banging myself to the wall or all drink up all the DMEM solutions that time, but i cant because i still love my head, and i couldnt afford to waste the precious DMEM solutions..

Hence, even though i am still brooding over my stillbirth results, well, i guess i have to repeat it again next week..i try to think it in every possible positive ways..such as, maybe God want it to happen so that i am able to produce a BETTER result next week, perhaps the best and better than what could be today's ! and since my cell viability on that time was 86% and Miss E says that its better if its at least 90%, this is another reason why God wants me to repeat the assay next week!! =)) and please, God bless me please, next week , please bless me so that the compounds RV and LPS are still enough for me to use, as for RV, i am gonna do 2n using Dr C's cell and 1n using my cells, while for LPS(hope that its enuf), i am gonna do 1n each using Dr C and my cells..YEAH!! maybe all this happens,because fate wants me to repeat with more n-sss so that i will produce better groups of result, and fuck yeah! i am so gonna take this opportunity, and being able plus having a reason to repeat MTT assay again to improve my Datasss!!

I will not give up and this time, i will make it better!! BETTER EACH TIME~

peace!

and oh well, i have thought of a name for my stilbirth result for today, though to u it might not be a big deal, but to me, after putting so much effort arranging the time, negotiating to get my desired time(u have no idea how many litres of brain juice i have squeezed to plan to get my desired time slot) and taming the micropipettes to behave well, and this is all in order to gain PERFECTNESS..i am so close to it, u know? SOOOO CLOSEEEEE.. everything, all the steps been fulfiiled perfectly, only to fail and collapse at reading the plate! READING-THE PLATE-CAN U IMAGINE IT? JUST PUTTING IT IN THE READER, AND USE COMPUTER TO READ IT, IT DOESNT REQUIRE ANY SPECIAL TECHNIQUES, not like pipetting, or preparing the calculated volumes of solution u using and yet it collapsed at the easiest final part, (llife is so HA-HA and i feel so F-ed up that time HA.HA.=.=~~~..its just as if u r so close to getting up on the train, but the train left just when u are just a few steps away..sighh~~

but nevermind, even if u missed the train, there is always a next train, perhaps a BETTER and more COMFORTABLE one,..as EVERYTHING TRULY HAPPENS FOR A REASON, FOR GOOD=)..

good, i shalt never give up, and i shall get 90% and above viability next time, continue taming the micropipettes as i have already mastered the skills (ngekk), and continue to strive for the best as usual..!

Peace>.^..

oh i name it, The One That Got Away~~~

lol

freeD

2011-12-12T20:21:00.000-08:00

We fight, we break up,
We kiss, we made up.

Well, i really hope its as easy as that..

BUT I am happy to say that everything is finally OVER..

and my heart has finally gained freedom :)

Thank u God !^^

2011-12-12T20:09:00.000-08:00

Some people, just by the thought of them, is such a pain in the ass , not only the ass, but pain through the anus to rectum, to colon, and shoots up via the stomach, esophagus till the heart.

Yes, i have a few whom even by writing this, i can feel my boiling level shooting up.

Well, to whom it may concern, u r lucky to piss me off, because i will not confront u nor will i piss u back, i will just suck it up, sit back, and enjoy ur karma punish u up. Everything that goes around comes around. I have always believe in karma, do you? =)

and to the other pain in the ass in concern, whatever u have done..have u any conscience?? or dont u ever feel guilty against ur rationality? What i envy you is not what u have gotten from what u have done, but i envy UR THICK FACE for being thick enough to perform such act, and for every plus point of pride u think u feel from what u get, i give u another plus point for a look-down-upon-u..sigh, wake up la bitch. Nothing is free in this world. nobody is jealous of u, bear in mind(if u have any) that there is a thin line between jealousy and shame-upon-u in ur case..

All-in-all

Peace ~ lalalla~

2011-12-10T12:08:00.001-08:00

DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW YOU AMYGDALA

if u dont know whats amygdala, then just fuckin google it.

PEK PEK PEK

2011-12-10T11:33:00.001-08:00

Gosh, what am i doing at this time.gosh, trying to ignore my inner voice that keeps on telling me that i have a looooot to read and my thesis to be polished now=((((( *inner voice ignored=) =/. i admit i just finished stalking ppl now HAHAHA....

nowadays, i always feel angry easily.i always form angry thoughts on ppl, succumbed in my own angry thoughts for few minutes(i din actually count the time) then forget all those thoughts and live ON..*life goes on*..only to repeat, repeat and repeat the cycle every effin day..

.and nowadays i suspect i have shown symptoms of diabetes mellitus=( :

complications of diabetes mellitus:

-kelaparan, yes i always felt hungry..i love to eat larrrrrrr babi!!!
-mudah marah, yes on certain ppl, i don undy them sometimes >=/ fucktards!!!
-sakit kepala, this few days=(
-keletihan, i love to sleep larrrr...
-kekeliruan, Dr C says i easily got confused, but what he doesnt know is that i actually feel intimidated by his superior intelligence=)

gosh, did i develop diabetes at such a young age??? did 22 considered still young? MUAHA MUAHA

but....stillll.....all the symptoms i had now seems to hit the jackpot!! =(( and mr whitie paper(they are my best companies throughout these four years) says that faktoe risiko termasuk sejarah keluarga..SEJARAH KELUARRRRRGA.

=(((

well, by the way, i am angry again now. and this is the first time, i will not occupy my thoughts in my mind,(poor mind, u must have been tired=()..i will blurt it all out, some la, not all..here!

is it so hard to reply ones message? I am rili UPSET with THOSE THAT COULDNT REPLY PPL'S MESSAGE esp when i really need u to~~, I DIN DEMAND U TO WRITE AN ESSAY BACK TO ME! I JUST NEED AN ANSWER , EVEN A YES OR NO, even a Y OR N WILL DO! is it that hard?well i hope its because u don have credit or u were away from phone( but i thought u cant live without ur phone.)
or u cant be that blurrrr to think that the message doesnt need to be replied.

u can do it with d special someone every ten minutes, but cant u even reply back to me even once in a day..i just need one simple reply!! is it that hard, this-is-not-the-first-time-=(

s-i-g-h, but no matter what, u are still one important person to me, i will just swallow the indignance and move on, like i always did~ yes, i always did without u realising it!=P

gosh, will i be able to wake up later for an-indian-food-gathering-birthday-celebration with da biomadss, i wish i din have to *pek-pek-pek and ffk ..LOL..i might as well suck it up and go to sleep now, but before that,

dear peeps, if u still have sufficient phone credits, and u did receive someone's message WHICH REQUIRE A REPLY, please lah reply them, as they are really waiting for ur reply even days after their message were sent..i do not specifically appoint this to anyone, this indignant paragraph of complain i just typed out is not specifically meant for anyone, but to EVERYONE..=.= siapa yang termakan cili terasa pedas, please do not get offended, but feel proud as i wrote this because i CARE FOR UR REPLY BECAUSE U R IMPORTANT TO ME.

*Replylah untuk kesejahteraan semua*

Peace>.^
p/s: i still love u, as always, FOREVER!

its 4.00 am d, and the pathetic me is still online.DEW.sememangnya mengundang kepandaan

A.A.A

2011-12-07T02:50:00.000-08:00

well i just feel like shouting out loud now, i am however disappointed with myself..i feel that no matter wat i did, its just not enough..there is always a-hole-inside, or so i think...since i cant shout out loud all of a sudden as my housemates will freak out, nor can i shout out loud outside, as ppl will toss me to mental ward..

i might as well just shout here..

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAf-c-k-m-y-l-i-f-e-~

my blog is the emo type, i love writing emo posts as this is the only place i feel i can express my negativity because there is no obvious comment or the like tab like what the blue-fbook-thingy does..so if u dislike my post being emo all-the -time, or judging me for being an emo freak,
u might as well just fuck off then, as i didnt ask u to read this or follow me blog in the first place anyway ~~

Peace >.^v

=.=

2011-12-07T02:20:00.000-08:00

Gosh...is it me being too stupid, or is it him having high expectations of me..=(

well of course i have high expectation for myself too..together with his, it doubles and hence..congrats for staying and double up, dear Stress..but i will eat u down..!

dear western blot, immunoblot or whatever blot u are!! please let me learn u well!

dear serological pipettes, multichannel micropipettes, and micropipettes tips, please suck and release wisely

argh...............................gosh i never felt so stupid before..my brain cells are dying..!!

Poor brain, from now on, i am just gonna stuff u with more journals and knowledge, please be strong yahh!

I am just nervous at every first time doings, i am not easily confused=(( but i couldnt be telling him that i am nervous which leads me to being confused..he will think i have such low EQ freak..and all these are just stupid excuses, but hell, its true. lol..

funny how something that can make u most relax, content, and happy can also make u stress and emo-ed at the same time..however, nothing is gonna stop me from conquering u!! bear that in mind mr/mrs T-h-e-s-i-s..

Rawr.

Br'(00)'D

2011-11-30T08:22:00.000-08:00

*Feeling indifferent..

No motives in life..

Nothing that interests her in life..

Why is she feeling like there is suddenly nothing in life that she wanna pursue, no hopes, passion for nothing, her just feeling indifferent,,

Sometimes she just feels very tired, physically, mentally, emotionally..no one can understand that, and no one to share them with, even if shared, ignorant feedbacks like a-u-just-think-too-much or stay-positive will be given..(whats the point, no one will understand)

HAd a crazy bizarre thought, wants to be hospitalised..lying on the bed, with smell of antiseptics in the hospital environment, just being there without being acknowledged by doctors and nurse, no injection, no treatment, just wanna lie down there like a shell without a soul..Sometimes just wish she can faint or have a syncope all of a sudden, perhaps never wanting to wake up anymore, but how will it feels like after not being able to wake up anymore?~~

When will the world ends.*

~~~Perhaps one day..ONE DAY.. the NEW me shalt look back at this post, and laugh..laughing at how stupid i can be at 'that' moment i am writing this post..I shall laugh at how insensitive i am for not being able to discover the wonders of life i can discover earlier, and the need to brood over the contents of this post shalt not be needed anymore..one day but not today 1/12/2011 =)

I know i will~Someday~~~(i)(i)

ImperfecT FelicitY

2011-11-27T06:35:00.000-08:00

HAVE you ever been caught up in a situation that is as similar as:

#1 You are at the top of a cliff, and there u met a huge bear..be it u face the bear and got eaten by it, or u jump down the cliff only to face and be eaten by a sea of sharks. Whatever decision u made, u will face death either way..So what will you choose?

#2 Ur body had an organ failure..leaving it in ur body will only deteriorate ur health, but removing it from ur body, ur body cant live any longer as well..and even if ur organ is replaced with an artificial one, ...it will never ever be the same, will it?..Will you choose to keep it or remove it? when either way hurts you the same way...

#3 I once saw an acquantaince's status saying that a bird and a fish were in love, but how do they be able to live together? Or perhaps a tiger who is in love with a deer? well, Dont u dare say i think too much, cause these things do happen!

All in all, either way, whatever way! u chose, u end up hurting urself in the end..Have YOU been in this kind of situation?~~~

Life is like seeking reality in ones dream,

hoping the reality in the dream will never fade away...

trying to realize a dream in ones realm of reality,

only to find oneself back in a dream

~I have died everyday

Waiting for you~

~Darling, don't be afraid,

I have loved you for a thousand years,

I will love you for a thousand more~

~<>~

She said..

2011-11-23T07:20:00.000-08:00

God gave me a chance, and i didn't use it well.

How sad can it be~
How hurt more can it be~

~~No matter how hard u've tried, there's nothing but holes inside~~

Shall i just stand under the rain, and let the raindrops wash away my dread,
or shall i just stand against the wind, to let all my regrets be blown away,

Shall i just sink deep down the sea, to let the waves flush away my misery,

or shall i just stand under the hot sun, to let the blazing rays melt away my worries~

TITLE

2011-11-18T11:41:00.000-08:00

Sometimes ,the things that u want most in your life at the moment...

YOU..JUST ..CANT...GET..IT...!
fuck!

however...as frustrated as i might be..and after 22 years(kononnya act wise) of living through big and small waves, it suddenly struck me like a lightning that,

mm, why not think of the POSITIVE saiiddeee~~(i am not trying to be those that normally pretend-to-be-optimistic-but-deep-down-in-their-heart-they-r-fuckin-not-they-r-still-full-of-grudges type of being) but its TRUE!

TRY to think this way, and i find it awesomely working

maybe GOD doesnt want u to have what u want to have now, because God has reserved something BETTER for you, as long as u r patient enough to strive for it=)

so this PATIENCE IS GOLDEN phrase is not lame n boring for nothing huh? LOLMAO

Good Night peeps=) if there's any , muaha muaha!

pERFECTO nigtmarO

2011-11-18T11:19:00.002-08:00

IT always seems as if it just happened yesterday,
It always seems real when it was just a dream,
It always seems eternal when it knows it will end,

The heart wants to say hello to goodbye, yet the mind doesnt want to say farewell to goodbye,

Or is it the mind that wants to say farewell to goodbye, but the heart doesnt want to say hello to goodbye.

Keep telling myself that its not worth it,

i already know i dont deserve it,

But if its from you, i dont mind hurting,

This is a perfect nightmare,

So when will i wake up and scream, NO WAY~

She says..

2011-11-18T10:50:00.000-08:00

Summer after high school when we first met
We make out in your Mustang to Radiohead
And on my 18th Birthday
We got matching tattoos

Used to steal your parents' liquor
And climb to the roof
Talk about our future
Like we had a clue
Never planned that one day
I'd be losing you

In another life
I would be your girl
We keep all our promises
Be us against the world

In another life
I would make you stay
So I don't have to say
You were the one that got away
The one that got away

I was June and you were my Johnny Cash
Never one without the other we made a pact
Sometimes when I miss you
I put those records on

Someone said you had your tattoo removed
Saw you downtown singing the Blues
It's time to face the music
I'm no longer your muse

But in another life
I would be your girl
We keep all our promises
Be us against the world

In another life
I would make you stay
So I don't have to say
You were the one that got away
The one that got away
The o-o-o-o-o-one [x3]
The one that got away

All this money can't buy me a time machine (Nooooo)
Can't replace you with a million rings (Nooooo)
I shoulda told you what you meant to me (Woooooow)
'Cause now I pay the price

In another life
I would be your girl
We keep all our promises
Be us against the world

In another life
I would make you stay
So I don't have to say
You were the one that got away
The one that got away

In another life
I would make you stay
So I don't have to say
You were the one that got away
The one that got away
<3

Lost for words

2011-11-18T08:16:00.000-08:00

i usually have a lot in mind..
have a lot to say..

have a lot to share..

but when i started typing, i started to feel lost for words..

do you feel the same as me? =)

New chapter of life

2011-05-18T00:26:00.000-07:00

NO matter how strong u are, i will be twice as stronger than you

when my mind is overflowing with thoughts just now, its just so funny that my mind is blank now..

my biggest enemy is not u, not anyone..but myself..
i wanna apologize for that has caused suffering for those who love me and loveD me before..

Sometimes i am heartbroken in a way that i have never experienced before, sometimes i am relieve in a way that i wonder should i feel that way..
but i am sure that this is the best solution as i too do not want to waste your time any longer and thanks to u that even though i have lost a great chunk of my heart, but i have indeed gained freedom..(same to u)

Sad to say, it is as though a great big black stone that had been subsided in my heart throughout this one year had finally been lifted from my heart..

Can feelings of one year be gone in just one week? or perhaps five days? well..i truly do not think so..however time will heal everything..God will enable time to reinstore the feelings thats meant to be felt by our heart and also vanish feelings that shud not be felt by our heart anymore..so just let time do its work..

To say that everything has returned back to its original blank piece of white paper, its impossible for me.it takes time.i might be happy that all the dread we have been through is over..i am sure u are twice more free mentally and emotionaly and i am happy for u for that .. but sometimes, i will feel sad and cry like nobody's business (haha forget my ego, i admit i did) but maybe thats not because i still want everything to be back as normal or i regretted the decision and all the dreadful stuff we have been through, no its not like that..ITS because i am once in a while still haunted by our happy memories throughout that one year..we have been through many things ..happy nor sad..THANK YOU SO MUCH for giving me all these happy memories all this while..we both agreed that what we have been through is as though we have been through it for MORE than just a year..haha

i just wanna let u know that i never regretted the time i have spent with u, u have done ur best and done it very well indeed..and i also wanted to apologize deeply for the pain i have caused u..i am so sorry..however evrything is over now =)

I bet u have heard of the saying "sometimes certain stuff are better left unknown" ..hence sometimes i wonder , if i have not been told by U bout that thing..maybe things might have run more smoothly for us eh? haha but however, i truly truly appreciate ur honesty and i know its because u loved (used to, Lol) me only did u not hide anything from me..THANK you so much for that, but i am very sorry..truly sorry that things end up not the way we wanted it..in the end i still ended up not being able to accept it..i am so sorry ..=(

During the time we were together, perhaps ur friends might have thought of us for being "unmixable' but to me, i think that they just don know yet the pain we have been through that time and i just wanna say sorry for that misunderstanding..after this thing is over i truly pray that ur friends will be there for u back and thank god, u r back for them and they are back for u..
>>However when i see the comments of ur frens saying u r back and U saying u r back, it bothers me a bit..it makes me wonder whether have i ever stopped u from mixing with ur friends when we were together or have i ever LOCKED u up in a "cell" all this while that forbids u to connect with the outside world eh? LOL..well..NO!! but maybe i think too much again..haha

there is nothing much left to say or mingle about,..in the end i just wanna make a conclusion to our previous chapter of life by saying a big THANK YOU for what u have done for me, and a big SORRY for the pain we have been through..=)

and say CHEERS to our new chapter of life =)) take care ~~~

~The End~
~ but an ending is always the beginning of someting new ~ =)

2010-11-05T01:04:00.000-07:00

when i was studying IMMUNOLOGY..

my body suddenly calls for toilet business..
so i went to the toilet,
but before that i on the radio and tune into Fly FM..
then something that makes me very happy just like how music used to make me very happy and excited in the olden times happen=]

the song "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai" was playing on d radio!! XDD
i love this movie and of course their theme song❤

then i start searching youtube for this song but,"This video contains content from Sony Music Entertainment, who has blocked it in your country on copyright grounds." kept appearing..=.=

nevermind..as i searched other music videos for this movie, the touched feeling i used to have few years ago when watching this movie starts to re-ignite..its a very nice beautiful bollywood movie. I love watching Bollywood movies during schoolin time esp those (act not ESP but ONLY haha!) with handsome actors and pretty actress..XDD

the story for this movie goes like this:

A guy has a close fren who is a girl(A) who happens to like him very much, most prob will give away her life for him..but sadly this guy likes another girl(B) and in the end they got married..A was very heartbroken but moved on anyway(p/s: guys isn't everything!!>D blek!!)
too bad, B passed away due to sickness but they had a daughter lo..,.

then their daughter happen to go for a school camp where A happens to be the teacher for the camp, then i forgot how the guy happen to be in the camp also, then somehow the guy fall in love with A then touchingly they be together and this family lives happily ever after..this movie is based on a story of true love..very sweet indeed the storyline..aikss!! to get wat i mean, just find that movie and watch it aite!!XD
guarenteed u will be touched!

alright here's another thought..i used to think that this movie is very touching and sweet and romantic..BUT NOW ..come to think of it,** this guy ..hurt A damn hard when he marry another girl, i understand that he doesnt know her feeling for him and he just treat her as a good friend in the first place..but still the girl is hurt..but nevermind ..ignore this~..SOOO,THEN the guy's wife passed away , IF THE GUY love his wife a lot, shouldn't he been deciding that he would not re-marry or LIKE OTHER GIRL and be ALONE in the memory of his beloved dead wife forever? i start to wonder now, how can he fall for his old fren just in a blink of an eye? why couldn't he had fallen in love with her last time when hey were close frens only to realise that he had feelings for her recently??
was it because he was just too lonely after his wife passed away ??FAT CHANCE i hope//

actually i have this thought when i saw a comment from someone on one of the movie's videoclip on youtube which sounds like this:"god rahul's such an arrogant idiot.isn't he?he breaks her heart so badly,chooses someone else over her,marriesher,has a baby with her n when she's dead he comes back to anjali without even realising n apologising for all the hurt he gave her and even in this scene he's so smug n conceited about himself.sheesh." FYI: the guy is Rahul and A is Anjali..and their daughter is named Anjali too because her mother happen to want to name her with the name of Rahul's best friend who is A..blaaa bla

however its just a movie, there is no need to think too much..haha..just go with the flow with the movie and feel wat the movie wan us to feel which is true and touching love..(though its love with 2 different ppl, though cynical but thats that right?/)
haha ok enough of the sarcastic and narcisstic thoughts..
ALL in ALL its still a very good movie and a good storyline, interesting story bout love, friendship and family..worth watching..and i prefer to preserve the " TOUCHING, ROMANTIC AND SWEET" perception i had for this movie few years back and i shall ignore the negative thoughts** i have bout this movie just now..

we shall think postive la dei..its very easy to call people to stop thinking too much, or everyime a friend consult u, 110 %% u will definitely tell ur fren" hey don think too much la" BUT do u realise that its very EASY TO FORM A THOUGHT, but it is very very HARD to VANISH THE THOUGHTS?? unless u experience some memory loss!
its really very hard to stop thinking much esp for hard thinkers like me..i will try my best, but u just don expect me to stop thinking bout everything i have thought before in a blink of time..because ITS difficult..but i will try my best though its hard, i ..WILL..TRYYY..MYY BESTTTTT!!! gambate ME is ME and nothing can beat ME ..not even you!!
alright, i am getting on the crazy side..sooo

BYE.*back to immuno XD

2010-11-05T00:34:00.000-07:00

look look who's here,

me writing a new post in my long deserted blog..
i have a thousand words swarming in my mind but i am lost for words to write it here,
funny how people might look happy from the outside, but sad and uncontented in the inside,
funny how turtle and tortoise is hard in the outside but soft in the inside,
funny how dog that don bark often, bites more,
well, thats life..

i am supposed to be racing with time to complete my reading on Immunology notes in which i have a final exam next tuesday..
when i am trying my effin best to concentrate and memorise the tumour immunity and effector mechanism, other stuff kept intercepting my mind, it must be my amydala..
in case u wonder wats amygdala, well thats a part of ur brain which instills u to think of negative stuff..

i cant stop thinking bout it! and i have no one to share with..maybe i have, but nowadays i find it hard to trust anyone...i thought of telling my babi gang, but i dunno how to start and i dunno who to tell first..AND IF i start telling this to people, i know this will haunt me forever.
i thought of telling my close uni frens ..but i realised that i never wanna let them know my problems..perhaps maybe i want dignity, or maybe i feel that there is no need for sharing my worriness or perhaps my problems..its not important after all.

maybe i am used to keeping it in my heart,
thiking that if i say it out,
i am exposed, or maybe i will be vulnerable
just like a body depriving of an immune system..

but sooner or later, if i keep on thinking of this non stop, i might die..
seriously,
committing suicide? perhaps not worth it la..plus its pain and a stupide act..but wat if i did?? Everything has a threshold anyway, if its over the threshold, ANYTHING could happen right..

worst comes to worst, i probably might just have a mental breakdown and live happily in Tanjung Rambutan..

>>aint it better?maybe? though surrounded by those pitiful mental peoples(those who might even turn up violent O.O) but maybe that will be the place where i can be free..FREE of these problems and suffering thoughts i have been having right now..maybe thats the third space i have been wanting..

EITHER way, anything that can free me of those thoughts, i am willing to do~
its nobody's fault..its my fault. to have such thoughts bothering me ALL..Most..of the time..some people reading this might prob thought "aiya this girl think too much again" but those who think lidat never understand that these thoughts are actually killing me and forbidding me from having the peaceful and happy life i wanted.
i mean who never wants a happy life?

BYE.

2010-11-01T02:30:00.000-07:00

A GIRL who cares about the past

♥amour♥

2010-06-15T02:24:00.000-07:00

OF all the number of times i said I MISS YOU,

i actually mean
I
LOVE
YOU
♥
=)

oMG

2010-04-25T20:36:00.000-07:00

its only a matter of time before i..

>get thrown with eggs(fresh or rotten)
>slip in the middle of the road
>get bombarded in every direction
>annoying "i Knew It" being echoed 24/7
>zzzzzzzzzz
>entomology
>facing the four walled room
>countdowning my freedom
>zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz in few minutes

MAYBE U wouldnt know wat i am writing now..
actually i don have any idea wat i am writing now as well..lol

i don feel like writing bout wat is happening in every seconds of me life
maybe because i am lazy of stringing the words together or perhaps i am just lost for words..or maybe it wasnt that interesting after all..lol

hmmmm..peace ba everybody >.^v~BYE!

the original me

2010-02-18T10:06:00.000-08:00

decided to maintain d original me..
as long as i am happy and comfortable with who i am, the original me is enough
=]
sooo..
>>to those who cant stand the craziness i emit, sorry la.i apologize.i cant do anything bout it..at most just stay away from me lo..peace^^

>>to those who enjoy crazying around with me(u know who u are, my pandi sistersss n brothersss..XDDD)..we should treasure these moments as good things are hard to come yea..^^..last but not least, DO EXPECT MORE FROM ME^^ NGEK NGEK..ni men bu neng tao pi de(especially josephine ng wei liing..kaka>D)..(haha pai se la, i dunno how to write chinese so i just write the *han yu pin ying* but some also inaccurate de..u all understand n get the meaning can d la..hehehe^^)

gosh..i am really challenging my panda eyes..

why am i not asleep yet..i dunno..i am physically tired but my mind is still running actively, like waters in d waterfall?? (ehem metafora??XD)
haha
i am somehow expecting something even though i dunno wat is that i am waiting for..
i somehow expect something big will happen n change my life again..
yes..again..since few years back something changed my life~
however this time ..it is not due to d same factor, no one will be dying or anything(touchwood)XDD

hmm.wat else to say..thousand stuff or maybe zillion stuff seem to be running in my mind, but i somehow cant string them into sentences to be written here..
as its already 2:44 am now, permit me to write the contents of my mind in point form(lazy to type also actually haha)

>mosquito
>relationship(friends family etc)
>choice
>decision(i suspect i am developing deciodophobia??=.=)
>far far away
>status
>happiness
>kids
>nephew
>study
>randomness
>health
>indulgence
>facebook (IT)
>reminisce
>redface
>currently listening to *jiu yao xing fu le* this song reminds me of IT
>peeling my lips(luckily hiany butler is not here to nag me~)
>dignity
>impression
>am i doing or thinking d right thing?

u probably will not understand this,
or maybe wondering whther i am in the correct state of mind..
but this is wat i am thinking now..at times, i myself cant figure out wat i am thinking..i just hope i can have a simple piece of mind..perhaps i shall meditate?XD

gotta stop here..dunno wat to say d/..
better go sleep..
or else gonna face d librarians late with shocking panda eyes@.@

sweet dreams to those sleeping^^
peaceV^^V--->baichilisation?XD

all's well will end well=]

2009-12-08T10:00:00.000-08:00

I wanna add something to my previous post which might seems optimistic but it will be true as long as we KEEP faith in ourselves=]

no matter wat L.O.V.E situation we are in, we will certainly had our worries..
BUT ..as long as we found our TRUE LOVE, n think " yeah he(or she) is definitely d ONE"..then, who cares,in FACT who GIVES A DAMN, on whether he is still single throughout his life, or he had been dumped, or he dumped his gf...

>>>because what matters t most is ..
t "wall" between u n him,
is broken by..
TRUE LOVE
=]

this is one of t lessons in life i think we esp youngsters should ponder upon,

well..
i am just sharing wat's in my mind..
as
SHARING IS CARING.XD

hence..
have faith
keep FAITH
n
most important of all,
take ur time, to find ur one n only true love
as..

>.^~d night is still young~
CHEERS FOR LOVE!=D

tiring LOVE

2009-12-07T11:45:00.000-08:00

LETS say, at t age of 21-25, u were single..
t guy(or gal*) same age as u, n u think he fulfills ur "dream guy criteria"(or dream girl* for guys), u might wanna start a relationship with him, but there is only one thing bothering u: he HAD NEVER BEEN INVOLVED IN A RELATIONSHIP BEFORE, so u will think, if he is such a good guy, why still single n never had a gf b4 till now??at this age summore?? is it possible tat there is something ABNORMAL bout him? u will start to worry then~ THIS IS LOVE STRESS#1

LOVE STRESS#2 lets say again, at t same age , n u were single..
u met a guy(*) n u are about to date him, but there is one thing that worries you: he HAD BEEN DUMPED BY HIS GF(s)in most of his relationships..u will start to think..is it because he is not a good guy, or such a pain in t ass, or is it because he is a two-timer, tats y his gf left him? u might think he is unwanted cause he had been dumped before n u might just be "recycling" him..(no offence ya for those who feels offended)this is just an example..u will start to worry then~

OR lets say again, UNDER D SAME CONDITION, u met a guy, n this guy just dumped his gf..but his gf was reluctant to break ..
u both were goin out together after some time, u might feel valued because he is t one who don wan his old relationship, but his gf don wanna let go but still he is determined to break up, and after some time, he met you n liked you..(meaning he sort of choose u over his ex now) , but then u will start to worry (AGAIN) ..WORRY WHETHER he is a casanova, play boy, will he do t same thing to you..n worst of all, his gf might have come out with all possible scary unpredictable tactics just to get him back..<

> so in t end ,,u will start to worry ~ THIS IS LOVE STRESS#3

in conclusion, no matter wat situation it is, u will always have to WORRY bout LOVE..
love is TIRING
but tats t sacrifice we have to do if we want to attain happiness from love, rite?..

~peace in love, peace in life!~

its all kudou shinichi's fault

2009-11-25T12:31:00.000-08:00

PART 1
t reason
i am
going to
have
~panda eyes again
~liver damage
~faster aging
~more wrinkles at t side of my eyes
~deafening ears

is

because

-----> i am downloading detective conan t disclosed case=.=

PART 2
i have deleted everything n plan to forget everything bout xxxx
i think too much
too much expectation
hopes for something to happen
it wont~
dream on will u~
i hope everthing will end up well
i hope i have a temporary amnesia~XD
all's well will end well..yeah
i am used to it, all those obstacles i had been able to overcome!>.

PART 3
u know wat annoys me now, the baby cries nonstop, dunno how many zillion times i went to "dodoi" him>.<
nvm, he is my precious(nephew..!!) after all~ shud be patient..hmmm

good !! download is completed..now i can zzzz..=.=

good night
peace out

p/s: i was wondering why most of my guy frenZZ so gilakan girls generation..=.="..

fishes in t sea~~~

2009-11-23T07:04:00.000-08:00

PPL say even if u got hurt n lost ur love, don worry, there is still " a lot of fishes in the sea"..

this phrase is t reason we move on after losing our other half, with t hope of finding another "fish"..so wat if we lose t special him or her, there is still a lot of choices out there~~

OR

if we happen to love that special someone SECRETLY for years n years n yearsssss, only to be disappointed n left with a false hope n a broken heart, don worry, there is still "a lot fishes in the sea", just get over that special him or her, as there is still plenty of choices out there~~{this time i think of a song: Somewhere Out There by Linda Ronstadt & James Ingram}

HOWEVER, it takes a matter of time for me to realise t pain truth behind this so called optimistic phrase..

our feelings are hurt by our old love or crush, hence with that phrase in our mind, we are set to find another love >>oh!this one is more handsome/prettier n rich,guess i have made at right choice this time..wee< there is actually still a lot i can choose de!bla bla bla<<.....only to end up being hurt again agAIN n AGAIN by our other so-called love..

*sigh*
thats L.I.F.E~~n we human are meant to be t slave of L.O.V.E..~~~yet we are willing to...

rebirth~

2009-11-22T11:00:00.000-08:00

finally i am able to gain access to my lonely blog here, a lot bitter things not forgetting some sweet crazy moments had happened throughout t period from t last blog i posted here till now,..

i have learnt that we should appreciate friends that care for us n don give a damn on those that doesnt value our friendship,..hell yeah!

well this exam period is (well in my opinion) t most torturing period in my entire exam life...T.T...so many to study, many difficult chim chim de names and terms to remember(hmmm so far i manage to remember helicobacter pylori, iodamoeba butschlii, mycobacterium tuberculosis.<<.cheh show off kononnya wahahah!!>>)...n u know,..i like to go home mainly because i wanna meet my two nephews(big C n small c)..i don like to be stuck in setapak, t current place i am living in kl during my (hell)semester period,,sad to say ..i hate setapak!!!!!!!!!!!

but i have no choice but to try my best to stay positive n live life t fullest..sniff sniff**...but dunno why this time due to certain circumstances, i met some problem in finding transport back n forth KL..i have never felt tat tense n stress b4.T.T..but thank god in t end i manage to find..n from this, i learnt of who are t good ones who will be there for thou when u need them n also.. sad to say,, those helpless selfish ones(well maybe they have their own difficullties)..so i hereby wanna thank those who have help n support me throughout my self-assumed difficult moments..really appreciate ur effort, n u know who u r(>.^)..xoxo

overall i can just say that all the obstacles, disappointment, pain n misery(yet not all t time la) that i experienced throughout this period had made me a STRONGER person n nothing will stop me from achieving my dream(s)..hell yeah!!>.,< aza aza fighting!!

i shalt end this post by two wordss
~Good Night~

wahahaha..zzzzzz..(but i am not in t sleeping mood yet)

Friends..I.Still.Remember

2009-07-01T16:02:00.000-07:00

yesterday i met my ex classmates again..this time with mangay, faheem n sebastian..

me n mangay went out from my house at 9.30am n waited in front of acmar for like 30 minutes~
then i messaged Faheem "r u there" then he replied "yea"..little do i know that his "yea" meant he just woke up..@#$%^..haha

so mangay suggested that we wait for them at WismaMasalam(shah Alam)which is nearto faheem's house i supposed..we waited for another 30 minutes again..no..more than that!!@#$%^^%$#$#@..haha..well this is i supposed because he had to get up from his bed, brush teeth, wash face, shower, (maybe smoke in shower?wahaha) pangsai, dry his body, get out from shower, dry his hair using hair dryer,comb his hair, put lotion, put moisturiser, put toner,..bla bla..then he went to klang to fetch sebastian near centro then drive back to shah alam to meet us!...that makes us think why in t first place he said ok when mangay asked him whther is it better for him if we wait at shah alam cause we assume its nearer to his house so he wouldnt have to rush..well..watever~~we could have just waited in front acmar..

so..durin this one hour of waiting for them,the GUYs..me n mangay were friggin hungry..so we went to Baker's cottage to heal a lil bit of our hunger first..@#$$#@..
we realised that we are specially more aware of red cars..thats because we are hoping that finally a red-coloured My Vi will appeared at long last! yea we're anticipatin Faheem's car to appear faster cause we r starving..T.T..and i hate waiting( i know i let some ppl wait before also..sorry yea..hehe)..

finally..after t forth or fifth call , "we're at con..conc..concorde d!!"said sebby..n after 5 minutes or so ..t red (sort of red la) car finally appeared..haha..

Faheem suggested to eat Char siew..so we followed his car..his driving skill is cute~ hahahah..so we reached, ate , talked n laughed..even smoked......(fahem only)..t day was windy haha..so after that we planned to watch Ice Age 3 in sunway pyramid..we go in separate cars as mangay n sebastian had some chores to be done..

again me n mangay reached there frst..lucky i booked as its ren san ren hai there..haha..but i had booked for 3D accidentaly ..so tat costs us RM 17 each..(don go for 3D movies in cinema as t stup spec makes u wish u weren't wearing it n it makes not tat much difference after all)

so ..we watched Ice Age 3 3D..its was fun to watch..those baby characters are cute..esp t BAby Dinosss.mua mua mua..hahah..and this is t first time i see such an overreacted audience..those ppl behind us..it was dark ..so we dint see their faces..they laughed aloud even tho t scene wasn't tat funny..n when peaches(watch Ice Age n u will know who) is born. we heard a loud "Awwwwww.."..tats when faheem was sort of rofl..haha..yea we laughed as well..hahaha^^..
throghout t movie, i heard mangay, faheem n sebby's laughter occasionally..

this makes me think,
A Boy who laughed WITH a girl at cute-funny scenes ARE CUTE
but
A Boy who laughed AT a girl cause t girl think t scene is cute n funny n t-boy-thinks-tat-this-is-stupid-n-tat-if-he-laughs-along-tat-makes-him-sissy-and-unmanly*-..well THAT DOES NOT MAKE HIM MAN AT ALL AFTER ALL!

HAHA
SO. t end of t movie makes t end of our outing as well..

though most of t time we are waiting for them n always calling lookin for them, haha..
but i enjoyed , had fun n will MISS THEM..;D..
CAUSE we are still *once an acmarian forever an acmarian*
that makes us related as Acmarian family members(said by Faheem once due to certain Circumstances)
haha

hope there is more outing with them n more ex-acmarians will attend by then..:)

till then ..let our journey continue n we shalt meet in t next stop again...

~peace out~~24/7 HEAVEN

by t way, u guys should go listen to Friends by Big Bang..Friggin Nice!!!XDDD..i am listening to it now..makes my mood good..
~music makes me happy, music makes me alive!!XDD~

well at least music makes me calm as i woke up at six for no reason unable to sleep back cause i am nervous as i will be back to t challenging world t next day..~

time is ticking~

2009-06-30T02:29:00.000-07:00

Q: dear heart, wat r u feeling now?

A:
~ two more days..before going back to t bookworm world..study study study study stress stress stress bus bus bus busy busy busy panda eye panda eye panda eye

~ find it most difficult to let go for six months~ my nephew: Calvin Chee Khai Wen(xiao yuan bai bao) & Cayson Chee Khai Sern( fat fat de bun)..T____T...i might cry on t day i separate with them..miss them already now..T.T

~ will also miss quarelling with my youngest brother..

~miss my mom's nagging..nag nag nag...

~miss my upside down sleep cycle

~miss going out with friends
# outing with mangay to shah alam
# movies every weekend with ex-highskoolians
# 6A3 gathering then went to wei khang's house..
# movie with cousiez: hannah montana: its a climmbbb~~i like this song

~ miss FB-ing t whole day

~ last but not least ..will miss t FREE me !!

bye bye Freedom..welcome Busy

~~peace out~~XD

tomorrow never dies~

2009-06-30T02:12:00.000-07:00

first time i'm doing a tag. been tagged before but never bothered to do it. XP
Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 100 Truths about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: PLAIN WATER.

2.Last phone call: HOUSE.

3.Last text message: LI YANG.

4.Last song you listened to: PET SOCIETY.

5.Last time you cried: FEW MINUTES AGO.XD>..< kidding!wahaha

6.What time did you wake up today: 9AM,THKS TO WEN PENG

7. What were you doing at midnight last night: SURFING .

8. Name something you CANNOT wait for: harry potter on july 16!

9. Last time you saw your Mother: NOW STILL SEEING.

10.What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: CONCERN MORE BOUT HIM N MADE HIM GO FOR BODY CHECK-up IN T FIRST PLACE

11. What are you listening to right now : I WILL BE by leona lewis

12. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: TOM N JERRY..XD XP

13. What's getting on your nerves right now: BODY TIRED MIND STILL ACTIVE

14. Most visited webpage: FB

15. Whats your real name: TAN HUAN HUAN

16. Nicknames: HANTU,BABI,HUANKUASADUA,HUANSQUARE,HAUNHAUN =.=38.
Relationship Status: SINGLE BUT NOT AVAILABLE..sorryXD

17. Zodiac sign: CANCER.

18. Male or female : female

19. Primary School?: Sri Lethia(STD1 &2) SRI ACMAR(till std 6)

20. Secondary School?: Sri Acmar

21. High school/college?: SMK Tinggi Klang

22. Hair colour: half black half brown..NATURAL DE due to malnutrition ;3

23. Long or short: SHORT..FOR NOW

24. Height: 163CM

25. Do you have a crush on someone?: HOPE SO

26: What do you like about yourself?: NOTHING

27. Piercings: ears

28. Tattoos: MAYBE!

29. Righty or lefty: rightie

FIRSTS :

30. First surgery: REMOVE TRIANGLE TEETH CONSIDERED?

31. First piercing: ears

32. First best friend: TUNG MAY JEAN..wonder she still remembers me?..XD

33. First sport you joined: CARRYING A MORE THAN 8.5 KG PUNYA BABY UP N DOWN T STAIRS CONSIDERED??

34. First vacation: ERR..4GOTTEN..OLDLIAO..HMM..

35. First pair of trainers: BIRTHDAY SUIT

36. Eating: air

37. Drinking: PLAIN WATER

38. I'm about to: READ DORAEMON COMIC BOOK(FOR T SECOND ROUND)..

39. Listening to: theme of love~final fantasy

40. Waiting on: my special someone~XD

YOUR FUTURE

41. Want kids?: OF COURSE..XD~

42. Get Married?: HMMMPH

43. Career?: BIOMEDICAL SCIENTIST,professor??XD

WHICH IS BETTER :

44. Lips or eyes: MY PANDA EYES..YEAH!!XD

45. Hugs or kisses: HUGS

46. Shorter or taller: taller

47. Older or Younger: HALF HALF

48. Romantic or spontaneous: both

49. Nice stomach or nice arms: both

50. Sensitive or loud: in between

51. Hook-up or relationship: relationship

52. Trouble maker or hesitant: hmmmph..erm...

HAVE YOU EVER :

53. Kissed a stranger: NEVER,UNLESS REALLY CUTE..BABY LA I MEAN!

54. Drank hard liquor: umm.SHANDY,champagne.counted as drank?

55. Lost glasses/contacts: NO

56. Sex on first date: NEVER!!!!!!!!

57. Broken someone's heart: YES, I AM CRUEL,,BUT THATS TAT

58. Been arrested:NO XD

59. Turned someone down: YES

60. Cried when someone died: SURE:'(

61. Fallen for a friend?: USED TO.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

61. Yourself: DEFINITELY

62. Miracles: I BELIEVE I CAN FLY,I BELIEVE I CAN SOAR T LAB!.AHAHAHA

63. Love at first sight: YEAH..*WINK..XD.

64. Heaven: ONE MORE PLACE FOR ME PLZ??XD

65. Santa Claus: HO!HO!HO!..

66. Kiss on the first date: I WILL SLAP HIM.

67.Angels: yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

68. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: no

69. Did you sing today?: YES..IN WEN PENG'S CAR..XD

70. Ever cheated on somebody?: HMM..THERE IS ONE TIME, I LIED TO MY MOM, TELLING HER TAT ITS A SKOOL HOL ON TAT DAY BUT ITS ACT A NORMAL SKOOLING DAY..TAT TIME STILL NAIVE (hehe >;D)..STUPID ME, T SKOOL IS NEAR MY HOUSE, so my mum found out lo..wakakak..WILL NEVER LIE TO MY PRECIOUS MUM AGAIN..XD

71. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: to the time WHEN HE IS STILL HEALTHY, N TAT DAMN VIRUS DOESNT GET HIM YET

72. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?: 2008.HMMM.NOTHING TO REGRET OF....

73.Are you afraid of falling in love?: NO

74. Posting this as 100 truths?: some truths were revealed...XD

People tagged by me : those who linked my blog in their blog! XPxoxo

♥ BIONAME : ♀[TAN HUAN HUAN]
AGE : 2O soon ;)D.O.B : 03.07.1989

♥ JUST TO SAY~always b yourself, t genuine you~ppl who think badly of t real you is not worth to be your friend..so why bother! rock on babe..XD

~peace out~

finally~~~at long last~~~O.O whew~

double xi ling men

2009-06-18T12:34:00.000-07:00

double t happiness , double t fun!
tats wat i hope in seventeen hours time..
hope we are "seventeen again"..yeah XD
lol..

in roughly seven hours later, my "sexy(XD) heng tai" kah foong is gonna get his result..
hence i hereby wish him luck n hope he might finally able to pursue his dreams..

secondly is in seventeen hours time, we are going to celebrate my beloved hamster's birthday .. although her birthday is 21st june.waka waka..
so i also hereby wish she can 'break egg' soon ^^

hope we[wp,jojo,vv,hh,jitjit,kk,ff,ww,n tt] have a blast of fun later~~have my palms together.. god bless^^

~~peace out~~V^^V

random~~

2009-06-16T13:16:00.000-07:00

i cant sleep..Sleepless Nights~~

based on my own psychological research (XD), apparently those (lets name it B) who had a crush on someone (lets name it A) will read A's blog from head to toe no matter how long,boring n unrelated t blog is to B.

hence..(perasan a bit)..if u r reading EVERY SINGLE FRIGGIN DETAIL of my cheong hei blog,,this means u had a crush on me!!
wahahaha..just kidding.. however it is true to some ppl?

yours truthfully,insanely, crazily,
huan kuasa dua

~~peace out~~V^^V

p/s : waiting any moment for my mom to freak out due to t loud typing noise..hee hee..however..no more now~~

FEELING

2009-06-16T12:44:00.000-07:00

just now i was "shocked by lightning twice"~~
not t exact lightning though~~

as a by-product of t lightning shock.this is wat i think~~.apparently girls look for rich guys (some of them)..are guys d same?
do they look for rich girls as well?
IT is obvious they look for pretty girls(right?) i dunno..but is wealth another criteria for them?
this makes me wonder due to certain comments my friend made indirectly ..

as for me..feeling is t most important..i am a very sensitive person(elaborate more on this later)..

just now..while chatting in msn with a particular friend..he sort of made me change a lil bit of my impression on him..i first thought he was a playboy back in form six cause he is very friendly towards every girl he met ..and to this fellow: so this is t answer when u ask me y i am scared of you,however am i scared of you??*confused*

few hours back..i had a "truthful conversation" with him.. its all about t truth..he told me interesting stuff (hehe) which makes me think NOW that he is indeed a str8forward guy of all t friends i met..however truth can be harsh at times..n due to my stubborn curiosity, i can barely sleep now..i know i very cheong hei but still i wanna remind him again in case he forgotten n if he is reading this~~

there it goes~~{i am not a sui pian de girl who will fall for every guy i met, n no matter how good looking or how good tat someone treat me, if i do not have t FEELING for him(or her-->impossible!wahaha), then he would not be able to pin me down} get it!!!!!>.<..

yeah..so i am sensitive n i hate ppl misunderstanding bout me..i hope everything is clear between U n Me ..even though this might not be a big deal for you..it is for me!as i wan my image cleaned..[emo-ing]=.=

i feel low bout myself recently n it has nothing to do with anybody~~i feel ugly inside n outside..i am a negative-thinker most of t time.. n i have never felt so low bout myself..perhaps it will dissolve someday~~

tats all for now..
remember friends, every heavy rain ends with a rainbow ~hence al your problems will eventually end up alright after al..this is how i console myself after every stupid negative thinking i made as i cant find anyone suitable to confide with..

~~peace out~~V^^V

iMpErFeCT

2009-06-16T12:03:00.000-07:00

so t journey begins~~

before that, i wanna make things clear..
some ppl might be amazed by complete fluent plus ''flowery" english words used by others..but i am afraid i do not have a passion to do that coz i prefer adding some other languages into them making them pasar english sentences..so i hope you guys out there wouldn't mind..instead do enjoy t beauty o t "pasary" language^^

here am i in my mother's room..all asleep except me as usual~~it is often t friendzz who say good night to me n explore their dreamzz leaving me exploring my own dark solitary world..however i enjoyed it n thats t fun of it~~being in my own world~~just me~~

sometimes we just couldn't help having our own special time right~~XD
however i chosen it to be late at night making me a nocturnal panda-eyed girl~~
hence i shalt stop here n exit facebook..n..

sleep??nono..gonna watch UP in my laptop~~hee
yeah~~
may all my friends have a lovely dream~~ sweet night everyone ..XD

~~peace out~~V^^V

introduction

2009-06-16T11:38:00.000-07:00

hi i came across this with t help of my friend kah foong..so thank you~~..
i have planned to write a blog since dunno when..but i am lazy..
then just now..my other friend asked me to read kah foong's blog(coz one or two of his posts, somehow got my name inside)kaka..so i read n then only i realised that yuan lai a lot ppl had expressed themselves(mostly) tru blogging..
hence i told myself that i mussen miss being a part of it rite ?? hehe..

so this is it..something bout me,me n ME!
hope i am not too lazy to type n torture my brain to string multiple words together..so to t ppl out there~ either u read it or leave it..its up to you..i am just here with a hope on expressing my feelings n disatisfaction once in a while. i hope to release my stress..AH! as i am a thinker of wu liao stuff..

i know u guys out there hate long chiong hei post..so do i..so/.....peace outXD

yours sincerely,
huan kuasa dua( this name is given by my ukm biomed friend~hamster yong XD in t friends for sale when he bought me as a 'pet' in facebook

yeah i am a facebook freak..so what?!! aggressive eh am i?yeah..get used to it then waka waka
xPP

~peace out~V^^V